Baca Lepas Bakar (!)

Signe Chanel.

2012-01-02T00:41:00.004+08:00

Aku nak pulang ke pangkuan sekolah esok.

Bukan. Aku nak pulang ke pangkuan sekolah lusa. Aku akan pulang ke pangkuan negeri esok. Aku rasa kosong. Kosong ya amat. Aku menulis dengan penuh kesungguhan kali ini, insyaAllah dengan harapan aku akan beri kata kata semangat kepada mereka mereka yang akan ku tinggalkan buat beberapa ketika.

Aku tahu, aku dah lama tak menulis macam ini. Kali ini, aku tabahkan diri, cungkilkan bakat yang sudah lama disimpan rapi di dalam kotak pedati. Aku tahu acap kali aku bernafas, aku perlu bersyukur. Setiap kali dugaan datang berguling, aku sepatutnya bersyukur. Tetapi, aku acap kali lupa akan kesyukuran yang perlu aku panjatkan.

Kau tahu, makin hari perasaan ini makin dalam. Makin hari hati ini mencari engkau. Makin hari hati ini, mencari apa yang tinggal. Makin hari hati ini mengembang seperti carnation yang berbunga gembira di siang hari. Makin hari hati ini, mencari apa yang sudah lama hilang. Hati ini sudah jumpa apa yang sudah hilang iaitu kau *points*

Aku tahu, aku akan pergi buat seketika.

Aku mahu kau tabah. Dugaan akan sentiasa melanda. Setiap hari setiap masa. Dugaan akan datang, dalam bentuk yang senang, atau bentuk yang susah sedikit daripada biasa. Aku mahu kau tabah menerima setiap yang akan datang dalam hidup kau. Teguh dengan Iman & Pendirian kau. Aku tahu kau boleh. Bila masa dugaan itu datang, jangan kau bersedih.

Aku dari jauh mendoakan engkau. Aku dari jauh mendoakan yang terbaik untuk kau. Aku dari jauh mendoakan agar dipermudahkan urusan engkau. Aku dari jauh memanjatkan kesyukuran kepada yang Esa kerana memberikan engkau peluang untuk bernafas seperti hari hari yang sebelum ini.

Jangan kau ego dan sombong dengan apa yang kau ada.

Kau tidak akan kemana mana. Bila masa tuhan itu mahu menarik apa yang kau ada, kau akan tinggal papa kedana. Manfaatkan apa yang kau ada. Kita semua sedang mengharungi hidup yang sementara. Aku sudah beri kau peluang setinggi emas, dengan kesabaran yang aku ada, aku telah cuba mengurniakan kau kegembiraan walaupun sementara.

Aku harap kau tabah kan hati, terima apa yang aku ada. Aku harap kau tabahkan hati, bila masa tuhan itu merampas segalanya. Aku harap kau tabah kan hati, bila masa aku ini tiada. Aku akan cuba dan cuba dan cuba untuk berada di samping kau, meniti segalanya bersama.

Tapi, aku tahu suatu hari, aku akan hilang untuk selama lamanya.

Posto ini ditulis buat penyunting semangat dengan harapan, bila kau sedih, berduka, hati seperti ditekan tekan & dirobek robek, kau akan ingat dan sedar bahawa seseorang diluar sana sedang mendoakan ketenteraman kau, kegembiraan kau dan ada untuk mendengar setiap keluhan kau.

++Antara kau sedar dengan tidak sahaja.

Immature Much.

2011-12-29T23:15:00.001+08:00

"Kain ke, seluar ke, kalau dah nak ketat tu ketat juga ler. Antara sopan dengan tak je."

"Rules must be rules.tu je cre.kw na kutokkutok kat sni pon tetp xkn ubah pape laaaaa."

"Well at least kita gunakan freedom of speech. Diam diri pun tak guna juga kan? Sama je kalau bersuara. So lebih baik bersuara daripada diam sakit hati. At least lega lah jugak."

"Sethun lg kottt..cool je da laaa..bukn kt sorg je yg pki..all of the studnt.t da lme okk ar"

"Yeah and you are laughing at us like a banshee. Nak suruh orang cool tapi simbah minyak kat api pun tak guna hjugak."

"Bguslh kn kaw ckp cmtuuu..ade kw nmpk aku gelkn korg? N ade aku ckp aku gelkn kaw? Bg akuuuuu..sume tu x pntinggg arrr..bg aku skolah bukn tmpt nak melawaaaa...so aku x cmnt pape bout this..law ni dah rule yg skolah kt ttpkn..trime je ar..ingt ar.2012 kw nak spm.aku twlaaa kaw ni PANDAIIII..tererrr debatt..tp kaw ade pk x aty ckgu yg bce kw pnyenwall?

N then dorg skit aty ngn kw? Kw pkkk la knnn...wlupon aku ni xdela SEHEBAT kw tp aku leh pk arrr..bukn skolahh sohh kaw pki bnde yg x senonohh.aku ckp bekbekk kaw blas cmtu kann.BAGUS LA.akhlakk kaw mmg tinggi sgt la iman sakinahhh..i will remmber this for the whole of my life..aku respect kaw as my sisterrr..but now..no more..byeeee..n smoga kaw bjayw la dlm spm ngn bad behaviour kw niee..sorry bad english..aku x setnding kwww."

"Yes sekolah memang bukan tempat nak melawa, but we have to be selesa in order to achieve the goals of the day, learning. Teachers will read, maybe, but then this is the only place we could express our feelings. Its a freedom of speech that count. I did not mock them at all. We had the rights to say what's good what's bad and its up to us to say it.

Oh lupa something, thanks sebab every good words of yours tadi, is a prayer which is good. Terima kasih sebab mendoakan saya ye kak dafina. But just one thing, kalau marah marah pun tak guna. Sometimes, you can't say much when you're mad because you'll show the other side of you that no one ever sees. I guess I've seen one now.

The other side of you. Respect other people's opinion and they'll respect yours back. There's a proper place to express your anger but being angry is not good for your heart. Oh well, will you even listen to me now? Just, don't get too angry too much. Anger is a short word of danger.No one is sehebat me. Everyone is the same. They're just differ in many things that you don't see.

My akhlak is none of you to judge because you don't live in my shoes nor near me. Its me and people who knows me truly & deeply who can say how I am or my Akhlak. I did not expect you to respect me because you're much older. Thanks sebab mendoakan. You forgot that everybody change & they are who they are when they need to be accordingly to a situation.

Being mad for this kinds of things, apologize, but grow up. Apologize if anything i've said hurt you or something. I didn't even balas with anything pun. You know, ending a conversation with a bye is not really a good thing in Islam. Assalamualaikum."

"Honestly, where's the logic in someone who will not go to the school anymore; who will not have to wear skirts to that school anymore; who will not even be in the school anymore; and who hasn't and will not need to buy new uniform getting mad at someone who all of those i stated above applies to?

Apabila fikir secara rasional, orang yang tak terkena, memang tak akan rasa. So you can't get mad at Iman for complaining because she HAS BOUGHT HER UNIFORM when you don't have to anymore.
I'm not taking sides, I'm just being objective here. You have no rights to say anything if it doesn't apply to you."

Not sure of what had happened. But sami told me that it doesnt make sense. The things she said, It doesnt relate to my status I posted yesterday. I don't know but this is kind of immature. Yes, officially got harassed on facebook. I'm not sure, but I've never showed this side of me in school & I guess that's why she did what she did.

It afraid me to think that this is all so shitty. You see, I did not do anything to her and yet she's being mad at me. She deleted me and blocked me. Well yeay. I guess. I know how she is in real life and no I'm not going to broad cast it here. But there's something called maturity that you need. I wished her the best in life. I counter post it.

But in a way I meant it.

I am keeping the positive side of me, by saying that I actually think she has blurted out everything out of anger or she's having the red flag week. I forgive her when she says things that hurtful and I seek forgiveness. Its up to her to forgive me or not. Come to a sense, i think everything she says doesn't have a kaitan with what I was saying or posting.

Well, I just want to say, grow up. Be more mature. Think twice before you say anything. I know posting it up here might pisses you off, well if you're reading. But I have the right to broadcast everything I like as long as it doesn't bring shame to you and your pride. I understand. Everybody has a pride to keep clean of.

//Me Sami ImmatureMuch

I am freaking out.

2011-12-27T22:37:00.004+08:00

Sebab aku tak hantar borang penempatan semula asrama.

Sebab Pn Lilis, The Penolong Kanan kata, kalau rasa yakin diterima dan tidak perlu ditempatkan semula, anda tak perlu hantar. K. Aku terima kata kata dia bulat bulat. Aku tak hantar pun. Sebab aku yakin aku diterima dan aku tidak perlu ditempatkan semula sebab aku memang dah dapat tempat.

Masalah.

I so mati like this. Mana aku nak merempat do. Memang lah family ada tapi kau gila tak bertempat ke apa? I need to call the school tomorrow and I am so dead. Mesti malam ni tak dapat tidur. Kau tengok lah. Semua orang aku kacau. I have to keep calm and sleep well :x Oh shoot. Dah lama tak rasa macam ni.

Thanks sekolah, thanks pihak asrama.

This school holiday is unlike any other school holiday.

2011-12-25T20:50:00.002+08:00

Spent most of my holidays with her & not with my usual girlfriends.

A day of a movie marathon,

The Breakfast Club

Ballet Shoes

The Long Distance

4 days 3 nights together at an Additional Mathematics Camp at UKM Keris Mas Bangi. Yes we share the same room, sitting side by side the whole time during the course and did not ditch each other. Oh well, except that one time I left her at the cafeteria during lunch hour.

You know, we are friends even before we were born. See how cool that is? :)

This is my house. My front lawn.

2011-12-25T20:20:00.006+08:00

This is my house. Design by Gyver & Bini Gyver.

Plain Jane

2011-12-25T10:54:00.003+08:00

The look I choose for the the holiday.

Zara purple stripe shirt.

Dorothy Perkins basic t shirt.

Dorothy Perkins mini pouch

A pair of bootcut bluejeans

Look inspired by, Asma Hamid <3

This is my Bedroom. Inspired by myself. HEHE.

2011-12-25T10:11:00.001+08:00

My room. Not inspired by anything.

Another day to a wedding.

2011-12-24T20:56:00.001+08:00

Every week there's a wedding I have to attend.

I like going to weddings. I guess :/ I like the food. I like the idea of the wedding itself. It is where people meet either old or new friends. Either close or far. Rich or poor. Pretty or ugly. Smart or unsmart. Famous or average. We all are there for a same reason.

I don't know what I am crapping about. I just miss my life. I mean, I miss me being all so rajin & productive. Not me being all so malas & unproductive that everyday, when I wake up, all I would want to do is sleep & watch TV & tweets. I need that person who could inspire my day.

Somehow, went to the Additional Mathematics Camp last Monday, gives a bit of inspiration. Met this girl. Yasmin. She's all so jolly & talkative & nice. I like her. No I really do. K Yasmin, if you're reading, keep on smiling lovely. She just inspire me to be someone so productive.

She has this energy.

Energy that I need to be productive, to not procrastinate, help others including the elderly and the house chores. I guess there's a reason why Allah has arranged this meeting with her. She's such a lovely friend. Thanks for passing the energy around. I have received your bluetooth of energy.

'And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong' (9:71)

2011-12-24T18:27:00.001+08:00

Oh this is weird. The new blogger layout is weird. Hey, my blog look a little bit well slim isn't? :)

New headblog.

2011-12-24T10:35:00.003+08:00

Offcially made by Aisyah Haziqah :)

Unproductive week.

2011-12-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

Aku taktahu. Aku taktahu. Aku taktahu.

Kau bermasalah bila kau minta kaki. Hati ini kosong. Dipinta untuk diisi ayat ayat quran. Mungkin barangkali. Habit yang segalanya aku jadikan habit sewaktu di asrama aku tinggalkan demi mengejar nikmat duniawi. Aku sedar. Aku sedar tentang itu. Tapi. Masyallah, syaitan itu berada di sekeliling tempat. Aku boleh rasa.

Aku boleh rasa yang aku menolak kebaikan.

Astaghfirullah al azim. I need to pull myself back together and make Allah the one. Kau tahu hati ini terdetik, berguling menentang syaitan yang rejam. Hati ini perlu teguh. Iman ini perlu kuat melawan nafsu yang meliputi segala galanya. Aku perlu put myself together dan teguhkan iman aku. I had an unproductive week.

I did. Aku buat nota agama aku but I didn't put my heart into it. It felt like ...

Hari ini, aku hilangkan parking ticket untuk pertama kali dalam hidup.

2011-12-14T23:06:00.001+08:00

Hari ini, hari yang agak produktif.

Aku bangun pagi mengharapkan hari ini aku akan siapkan kerja kerja Fizik & Kimia yang tertangguh. Tiba tiba, Bini Gyver ajak aku pergi membeli kain untuk buat kain panjang & keperluan sekolah yang lain lain. Aku go with the flow. Dengan segenggam tenaga yang masih ada, aku pergi. Pergi Shah Alam. Shopping kain.

Pergi Wisma Jakel. Tak perasan pulak sejak bila bini gyver suka nak membeli belah di Jakel. Betul betul tak perasan. Tapi sekarang dah perasan. Oh dia suka beli tudung dekat Hajaba. Kain dekat Jakel & karpet dekat Jakel. Memandangkan aku kena beli kemeja untuk tahun depan. Kami singgah SACC & PKNS.

K dah lama aku tak pergi.

I know this is quite boring, but keep on reading. Pergi SACC, perkara biasa adalah orang memberi amanah kepada saya untuk menjaga parking ticket dengan sepenuh hati & tanpa ragu dengan harapan, parking ticket itu tidak akan hilang, koyak, tercelup dalam air dan sebagainya.

Jadi aku dengan bangganya akan terima parking ticket itu dengan harapan aku akan jaga dengan sepenuh hati tanpa ragu serta parking ticket itu tidak akan hilang, koyak, tercelup dalam air dan sebagainya. Tapi hari ini, aku gagal. Gagal. Gagal. Parking ticket tu hilang juga akhirnya. What the hell happened?

It got lost & it feels like shit.

Jadi, sedar. Parking Ticket. Hilang. Saya rasa macam taik. Lagi lagi rasa macam taik bila Parking Ticket tu terjatuh dekat kedai uniform. Lepastu ada makcik tanya siapa punya. Lepastu makcik tu boleh mengaku itu dia punya. Makcik, tahu tak dosa? Mak Cik tahu tak Mak Cik menganayai orang? Mak Cik tahu tak haram?

Aku taktahu makcik tu nak buat apa dengan parking ticket tu kalau kalau dia ada lebih. Aku taktahu. Nak jual balik ke dekat Trans park ? Macam taik kan? Aku tahu. Makcik, dalam dunia ni, kita kena jujur walaupun kita kentut lepastu orang tanya awak kentut ke tak. Faham tak? Walaupun malu, kita kena jujur.

Nampak sangat sekarang semua orang tak boleh kita nak percaya. Not even Makciks. Sorry to all the makciks in the world. I've lost my faith in you. I'm sorry. It can't be fixed.

Sakit hati tak terkata,

MYR20 aku kena berikan untuk menebus Parking ticket itu semula.

FFFUUUU

"Simply follow me back" - A follower

2011-12-12T15:43:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry but I don't give a follow back to whom i like or may dislike because twitter, its all about, Follow your Interest. If I am not interested in you, I don't follow you back and 'simply' stare at your tweets all day long. Really. I don't need you to flood my timeline with a, 'simply follow me back' to your twitterbuddy. Not bragging, just saying.

I know I may not be a twitter famous, but I'm not helping you to collect more followers because you don't see the main point of having a twitter.

- A something from myself for myself.

Botak .

2011-12-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

Aku teringin nak botak.

Aku teringin sangat nak botak. Lagi lagi bila aku tengok kawan aku yang sorang ni, botak. Macam seronok. Tapi aku teringin nak botak licin. Macam seronok. Tak perlu risau apa apa kecuali dengan dorm mate ah. Obviously. Masalah juga kalau aku pergi sekolah botak. Lagi lagi duduk asrama. But oh well.

10 Kebaikan Botak ;

Tidak perlu gunakan syampoo untuk sebulan dua.
Tidak perlu menyikat rambut sebelum dan selepas tidur.
Kepala terasa ringan dan bebas masalah.
Tidak perlu tunggu rambut kering dan hanya perlu mengelap kepala seusai mandi.
Tidak perlu risau tentang rambut gugur.
Tidak perlu risau tentang kepala kusut.
Tidak perlu risau tentang bonggol di kepala.
Tidak perlu risau tentang rambut kasar & kering.
Tidak perlu risau tentang pembiakan kutu.
Tidak perlu risau tentang rambut kusam & tidak bermaya.

Cuma, dalam islam, membotakkan kepala bagi kaum hawa adalam haram sama sekali kecuali dengan alasan alasan yang munasabah dan berkaitan dengan isu kesihatan. Selain itu, ia juga dianggap menyerupai lelaki. Jadi, ia adalah haram di sisi Islam. Kebaikan ada, tetapi its against Islam guys.

So keep calm & inhale/exhale oxygen ladies.

You know ,

2011-12-10T14:50:00.000+08:00

Aku dah pernah lempang lelaki sebab dia panggil aku gemuk.

Nak tahu apa aku rasa?

PUAS.

Another unproductive day.

2011-12-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

I would like to say a word or two.

This Accounting Coursework is bloody killing me slowly. Its a slow death & its painful. Its been two weeks now. Dealing with this whole lot bundle of shits. I'm having fun (kononkononnya) doing this coursework. Thank you Muhyiddin. Thank you for this coursework. You know, its fuckery hard or maybe I have to stop thinking that this is fuckery hard.

Then it will be easy.

You *points* . Stalking is easy when your days are just another tweeting, eating, shitting, bathing, hanging around from town to town. Come on, get on with it. Stop tweets all this shit about, "Oh my holiday sucks!" Weh you're lucky that these politicians gives us tonnes of bloody school holidays unlike other countries where they only have Summer break & I dont know, Christmas holiday?

Get on with it. You *points again*, with the SPM over. Stop saying that this & that sucks. Staying at home being a potato couch sucks. You just dont know how to handle your life & get on with each and everyday of your life with loads of ridiculously fun stuff & time is money and money is time. Get on with it. There are loads of things you can do with your life.

Make a bucket list & try to do each & every one of them. Live like you're dying.

Lama rasanya aku tidak bergurau senda di ruang ini.

2011-12-08T00:09:00.001+08:00